Six feet away from me.
No way to reach it.
We're stuck in the stairwell.
I tried to push the tree back up the stairs in hopes the lights would un-loop themselves, but that was the equivalent of a dog shitting out a pine cone. It wasn't going to go that way without help. So I decided to climb up the stairs, stepping through the branches of the tree, and unloop the snagged lights. My first step resulted in my foot getting tangled in another string of lights. I couldn't get my foot out of the tree, and I couldn't reach the snag on the hand rail. The thought of just laying down on the tree and hoping for death crossed my mind. After some wiggling, the bottom half of the tree just fell off. My foot was free, but I had no idea where my slipper went. I got the lights unsnagged from the rail, retreated back down the stairs, retrieved my slipper from inside the tree, and put the dissected tree back together. I was within three feet of the root cellar when I set the tree down to open the door. The base on the tree snapped. The tree fell over. And, in a final moment of defiance, the tree broke into two pieces again.
It's still in a heap on the basement floor.