To My Readers:

I thank you. The both of you.

I must first apologize for not having anything new in some time. Sara started this blog for me because she knows I like to ramble on in script, and I have been sorely unproductive. For this I am sorry. It's not that I don't have anything to write about, it's just that I don't think I have anything interesting to share. Trust me, that thought has been locked in a box and hid in the back of the closet. Never to be thought again. Somewhere behind Sara's shoes. The count of which, I may add, has grown exponentially in the last few years. See, I was blessed with not having married a Shopper. She's very low-maintenance, in fact. Another one of the many reasons I married her, and another one the many reasons I think she's perfect.

Anyway, back to the sudden increase of shoes. Sara works for a large retail chain in the corporate office. One of the perks of this job are these strange occurrences called Sample Sales. I, being a man with a certain level of self-imposed ignorance, had no idea what this is. After seeing her arrive home with two jumbo-sized garbage bags full of plunderage, and wondering how mucho dinero said take cost me, I was let in on a secret known to the retail world as Sample Sales. These glorious events are held once the coffers in the purchasing department are filled to the rim. Salespeople from all over the globe send samples of their wares to the buyers at her company. The buyers give the items a cursory glance, then toss them into a bin where they are eventually piled high with loot. The bounty is priced at ridiculously low prices and offered to the employees. And when I say ridiculously low prices, I am not being ridiculous. I think they give the goods monetary value just to keep the riots quelled. It's hard to riot when you are waiting for change.

So Sara shops. Sara see shoes. Sara searches sizes. Sara seizes sandals. Sara stuffs sackfuls....(I can't help myself).

The two overstuffed garbage bags I mentioned contained findings that cost $29. If my memory serves me, they contained seven pairs of shoes, four pillows, two comforters, five picture frames, a small child, and a rowboat. Not bad.

Recently she came home with a pair of Justin Ropers. These retail for around $99. She had to give $2 to make them hers. They are identical to mine that I paid $79 for on sale. I remember how happy I was that I found them for such a good price. Two dollars. I'm still shaking my head.

Shoes are plentiful at sample sales, and strangely enough, always seem to be in her size. So she buys them. And why not, I say. When you can get Benjamins for Washingtons, do it, and often.

So Sara has become a Shopper. A Super Sexy Sandal Snatching Sample Sale Shopper.